LIFE AND LETTERS OF JOSEPH HARDY NEESIMA
A FAREWELL LETTER. 319 farewell, with my unspeakable thanks for all you have done for me. I owe you all, and have nothing to pay back but my thanks and daily prayers for you. If I fail to send you my last farewell by reason of pas~ing off suddenly, as my doctor described to me, please regard this as my last word to you. I wish I could write as I feel, but I cannot express myself at all. I trust you can guess at it. What I cannot say I hope I shall say in another world. With regard to my tender feeling to my dear wife and aged mother you may sympathize with me. You know also how much I am interested in our Kyoto schools and the gospel work throughout this island empire. I am willing to leave all these interests behind. I am thankful for what has been done for my beloved country. What now shall I hope or expect to receive? As you know, I have a desperate will and plan to make our Kyoto school a Christian university. For this cause I came to Tokyo. For this cause I became ill and fainted away. For this cause I am still staying here. However, I am very careful. I fear I cannot write you much hereafter. If I pass off I hope you will not feel too sorry. I fear this may not be a very complimentary letter to receive on your fourth of July. But so long as I am prepared to resign myself to His hand I like to tell my sympathizing mother and ask for her prayers for my soul. My wife has returned and warns me to stop. What I write here is not revealed to her. Please keep this secret from other people. I am still hopeful to live, but am prepared to go also."