268 TO EUROPE AND AMERICA AGAIN. ing for my wife and parents, my gratitude to Mr. and Mrs. Hardy, came up at once like a volcanic fire. Still above all these feelings I believe I perfectly re­signed myself to the hand of my Heavenly Father, and asked him repeatedly to receive my soul to his bosom if it be his will. While I was suffering from a most distressed feeling in my chest, how happy and how thankful I was for the Father's kind care over me, and especially for his forgiving grace manifested through his son Jesus Christ. Then I sat up in bed and wrote the inclosed will on two sheets of drawing paper which I then had with me for sketching. While writing that I almost fainted away. Towards evening I began to feel a little bet­ter, and took a cup of tea. I slept quite well. On the following morning I was still better, but had not strength to start for Andermatt, so I took a carriage from Airolo and reached Andermatt about dinner time, resting quietly there that afternoon. Desiring to see a doctor I started for Lucerne on the 8th. My chest was examined by Dr. Stocker. He warned me to keep myself quiet for a few days, as he found my heart out of sound state. I desire to keep these papers, because I had then a most unparalleled feeling I ever felt in my past life. Since then I feel more and more my life is not for me. Whether I live or die I must live or die for Christ. May the Lord ever keep this sin-wounded soul under his protecting hand, and count me as a least one in his kingdom through the righteousness of Jesus Christ. His most unworthy servant, JOSEPH H. NEESIMA.