104 SEMINARY COURSE AT ANDOVER. furthermore, that if I write to him I would rather make known to government my new and healthier religion. But he said he did not know whether it would be safe for me to do so or not, but I might try that. But after a still more careful investigation I found it would not be desirable for me to make known my being here openly, for if I do so perhaps I will receive an order to do some service or to study a cer­tain thing. In such a case I cannot conveniently refuse it, for if I do the government will no longer be friendly. While I am/studying I do not wish to be hindered by the government's affairs. As I under­stand that you are willing to keep me still longer, I would rather receive the Christian's willing and cheer­ful gift than that of the government, which will bind me as a slave. Yet I will try to keep up a friendly relation to the minister at Washington, so that when I get ready to go home he might be some help to me. So I am decided not to write to the government till I am about ready to go home. I used sometimes to do things without much circumspection, though I was very successful in certain things. But with regard to the above case I shall be pretty careful, for my all future success may depend on this single action. I shall wait entirely on the providential guidance. 'When I came out from the prayer-meeting re­cently I saw a grand display of northern lights. 'While I was watching the change of streams of light, and also gazing upon those inmunerable bright stars twinkling in the blue dome, I thought of the hymn," Nearer, my God, to thee," and thought that if, through the grace of God, I am permitted to fly on joyful wing onward and upward, leaving the sun, moon, and stars behind me, how grand my feeling might be.